Day Nineteen

Um, yeah. I went on vacation last week. I thought I'd write, but I didn't. And I'm really sad. I still don't have one day's worth of writing. So, I think it's safe to say that I won't win NaNo this month. I think I'll try again in August. It's really frustrating. I'm sad. But, it's okay. It doesn't mean I can't write or that anything. I just feel that NaNo is the opportune situation to get into the habit of writing everyday. Several writers say to write everyday. And that's a problem for me. I don't know why. It's what I want to do, so I should do it. All the time. Every spare moment. But, I don't.

I'm going to write as much as I can. I know I probably can't catch up to 50,000 by July 31st, but I can at least write more. And maybe I'll try again in August. I think, what I'll do, is outline my story this month. If I know where I'm going with the story, maybe I'll write more often. I honestly have no idea what's going on in my story right now. I hardly have a plot and my characters are flat. I don't know anything about them still.

I think I'll keep vlogging and blogging about writing and stuff though. It's cathartic. It makes me feel better.

I had a great conversation with my dad last night about writing and he believes in me more than anyone ever has about anything I've done or wanted. He really wants me to do it, too. I can tell. He keeps asking, "When are you going to start writing?" and saying, "You should write a collection of short stories" which at this point I think is my best bet at finishing a story period. I can't stick with a story for very long. He believes in me a lot and it means so much to me and I want to make him proud. Even if I never get published, at least I'll have written some things that I'm proud of. At least I hope I'm proud of whatever comes out of this experience.

I was inspired at the beach and I have a few ideas for stories. I feel like I'm never short on stories, it's just developing them with which I have a major problem.

I want to write. I have to write.