I've Moved

I'm now at ithinkonpaper.blogspot.com

Day Nineteen

Um, yeah. I went on vacation last week. I thought I'd write, but I didn't. And I'm really sad. I still don't have one day's worth of writing. So, I think it's safe to say that I won't win NaNo this month. I think I'll try again in August. It's really frustrating. I'm sad. But, it's okay. It doesn't mean I can't write or that anything. I just feel that NaNo is the opportune situation to get into the habit of writing everyday. Several writers say to write everyday. And that's a problem for me. I don't know why. It's what I want to do, so I should do it. All the time. Every spare moment. But, I don't.

I'm going to write as much as I can. I know I probably can't catch up to 50,000 by July 31st, but I can at least write more. And maybe I'll try again in August. I think, what I'll do, is outline my story this month. If I know where I'm going with the story, maybe I'll write more often. I honestly have no idea what's going on in my story right now. I hardly have a plot and my characters are flat. I don't know anything about them still.

I think I'll keep vlogging and blogging about writing and stuff though. It's cathartic. It makes me feel better.

I had a great conversation with my dad last night about writing and he believes in me more than anyone ever has about anything I've done or wanted. He really wants me to do it, too. I can tell. He keeps asking, "When are you going to start writing?" and saying, "You should write a collection of short stories" which at this point I think is my best bet at finishing a story period. I can't stick with a story for very long. He believes in me a lot and it means so much to me and I want to make him proud. Even if I never get published, at least I'll have written some things that I'm proud of. At least I hope I'm proud of whatever comes out of this experience.

I was inspired at the beach and I have a few ideas for stories. I feel like I'm never short on stories, it's just developing them with which I have a major problem.

I want to write. I have to write.

Day Eight

It's pretty early on day eight, so I haven't written anything. I don't think I wrote yesterday either. But I did vlog. Twice. I made a nice little video about flowers as procrastination. So, enjoy that one. Also, my NaNo vlog was only half about NaNo. It was also about the library -_-

As I know it's incredibly important information that you're dying to know after seeing that video, I shall tell you. I did go to the library and explain myself to another very nice lady that I see there all the time and she said she'd talk to the other librarians and stuff. She's not really allowed to take fines off. Stuff like that. But, when I checked a few hours later, my fine was gone. So, now I can buy myself a Diet Coke.

Hopefully I'll be writing a lot today. But, you never know.

Day Seven

The problem with being so far behind so early in the month is that it feels impossible to catch up. I'm ten thousand words behind. When am I going to write ten thousand words that I should've already written?

It's one thing to meet the daily goal everyday from now on until the end of the month, but I have to build in ten thousand words into the remaining days which feels impossible. Especially when I feel like I won't even be meeting the daily word count every day.

I need to just buckle down and commit to my story and fight to reach my word count. It's just really discouraging to be so far behind at this point. And other NaNoers are doing so well! Exceeding their daily goals. Some people, I'm sure, are done already. I just don't know what to do.

sad.

Day Six

I didn't post yesterday, but I had every intention to. I also didn't write yesterday.

This isn't going well. I feel really bad about it, too. I just don't know what to do!

I actually went down in word count from the other day, because I changed my mind about something so I cut out three or four sentences. And I didn't write today. I was out all day. Perhaps before bed I'll write. Maybe tomorrow. I feel really sad. I hate that I'm struggling so much with this.

One of my English professors runs the Young Writers' Conference in our area and I was going to help out and I was really excited. But, she didn't get enough applicants to make it really work, so it's cancelled. It's disappointing, but I know there will be another opportunity in August 2012. At least, I hope so.

I need to write. I want to write. I just don't really know what to write.

Day Four

I wrote some today! I have a new idea of where the story is going which is exciting. I'm still way, way behind. Right now, I have 867. I should have at least 6, 452 today. O_o

But, I think that this week I'll be able to catch up. I'm really excited about writing. I think the best part of NaNoWriMo is that you aren't supposed to worry about editing. You just write without worrying about flow or continuity. All of that comes later. So, I know there are flaws. There are always going to be flaws. My creative writing teacher in high school said you can always improve and I believe that's true.

That being said, it's really hard for me to resist reading over what I've written to make improvements, even when I only have 867 words.

I'm currently trying to finish reading Stephen King's On Writing. I read most of it a few months ago, but I had to return it to the library. So, I got that again because school's out and I finally have time to read!

I feel almost guilty reading because I know I should be writing. But, one way to be a better writer is to read a lot. So, I'll chalk it up to research.

I just saw a commercial for The Big Bang Theory and it made me really happy. I can't wait for it to come back. I watched them all last month so I'm caught up. Great show.

Day Three

I wrote a little more today. But, it's only 8:30p.m. and I don't have to wake up early or anything tomorrow, so I'm thinking I'll stay up late writing.

I'm not sure how I feel about my story right now. It's almost more of a place where I rant about my job. People always say to "write what you know" so that's kind of what I'm doing here.

I may or may not take it in another direction or scrap this story for now. I'd like to write a dystopian story. I've always liked those kinds of stories, even the ones that I had to read in school. The problem with going in that direction is that I would have to create an entire world and I haven't planned one out yet. I don't really have any ideas for one either.

I just don't know anything right now.

There are several Camp NaNoWriMoers documenting their adventures on YouTube and it's encouraging to see that I'm not the only one who is behind.

Side note: I'm watching The Food Network Challenge and it's Star Wars cakes! LOVE it!